Pronunciation

The Tæn Mæn

A fashionably tan man sat casually at the bat stand, lashing a handful of practice bats. The manager, a crabby old bag of bones, passed by and laughed, "You're about average, Jack. Can't you lash faster than that?" Jack had had enough, so he clambered to his feet and lashed bats faster than any man had ever lashed bats. As a matter of fact, he lashed bats so fast that he seemed to dance. The manager was aghast. "Jack, you're a master bat lasher!" he gasped. Satisfied at last, Jack sat back and never lashed another bat.

A Lät of Läng, Hät Walks in the Garden

John was not sorry when the boss called off the walks in the garden. Obviously to him, it was awfully hot, and the walks were far too long. He had not thought that walking would have caught on the way it did, and he fought the policy from the onset. At first, he thought he could talk it over at the law office and have it quashed, but a small obstacle halted that thought. The top lawyers always bought coffee at the shop across the lawn, and they didn't want to stop on John's account. John's problem was not office politics, but office policy. He resolved the problem by bombing the garden.

Alls Well That Endz Well

A lazy Thursday at the zoo found the zebras grazing on zinnias, posing for pictures, and teasing the zookeeper, whose nose was bronzed by the sun. The biggest zebra's name was Zachary, but his friends called him Zack. Zack was a confusing zebra whose zeal for reason caused his cousins, who were naturally unreasoning, to pause in their conversations. While they browsed, he philosophized. As they grazed, he practiced zen. Because they were Zack's cousins, the zebras said nothing, but they wished he would muzzle himself at times.

Little Lola

Little Lola felt left out in life. She told herself that luck controlled her and she truly believed that only by loyally following an exalted leader could she be delivered from her solitude. Unfortunately, she learned a little late that her life was her own to deal with.

When she realized it, she was already eligible for Social Security and she had lent her lifelong earnings to a lowlife in Long Beach. She lay on her linoleum and slid along the floor in anguish. A little later, she leapt up and laughed. She no longer longed for a leader to tell her how to live her life. Little Lola was finally all well.

30 Little Turtles

A bottle of bottled water held 30 little turtles. It didn't matter that each turtle had to rattle a metal ladle in order to get a little bit of noodles, a total turtle delicacy. The problem was that there were many turtle battles for the less than oodles of noodles. The littlest turtles always lost because every time they thought about grappling with the haggler turtles, their little turtle minds boggled and they only caught a little bit of noodles.

Mirror Store

The Hurly Burly Mirror Store at Vermont and Beverly featured hundreds of first-rate minors. There were several mirrors on the chest of drawers, and the largest one was turned toward the door in order to make the room look bigger. One of the girls who worked there was concerned that a bird might get hurt by hurtling into its own reflection. She learned by trial and error how to preserve both the mirrors and the birds. Her earnings were proportionately increased at the mirror store to reflect her contribution to the greater good.

Throng of Thermometers

The throng of thermometers from the Thuringian Thermometer Folks arrived on Thursday. There were a thousand thirty-three thick thermometers, though, instead of a thousand thirty-six thin thermometers, which was three thermometers fewer than the thousand thirty-six we were expecting, not to mention that they were thick ones rather than thin ones. We thoroughly thought that we had ordered a thousand thirty-six, not a thousand thirty-three thermometers, and asked the Thuringian Thermometer Folks to reship the thermometers thin, not thick. They apologised for sending only a thousand thirty-three thermometers rather than a thousand thirty six and promised to replace the thick thermometers with thin thermometers.

The Thing

This is the thing that they told them about this Thursday. This thing or that thing? This thing. Actually, there are two of them. Both of these things were with the three other things there in the theater. They're worth three thousand dollars.

Ruth and her mother think that they are worth more than that, though, unless they break, and then they are worthless. Altogether worthless to them. That would bother Ruth's brother, mother and father on their birthday, the thirtieth of this month. Ruth, Ethel, and Beth have a rule of thumb about birthdays, which is to stay together, through thick and thin, whether it's worth it or not. And that's the thing.

Booker Woolsey

Booker Woolsey was a good cook. One day, he took a good look at his full schedule and decided that he could write a good cookbook. He knew that he could, and thought that he should, but he wasn't sure that he ever would. Once he had made up his mind, he stood up, pulled up a table, took a cushion, and put it on a bushel basket of sugar in the kitchen nook. He shook out his writing hand and put his mind to creating a good, good cookbook.

True Fool

A true fool will choose to drool in a pool to stay cool. Who knew that such fools were in the schools, used tools, and flew balloons? Lou knew and now you do, too.